We rarely talk about it. At least not with those who do not walk our walk, live through our experiences, or understand our existence. There are however, several things that gay men inherently possess knowledge of. It keeps us amused and motivated in a world very much determined to undermine our worthiness to be on the planet. Whether they are survival skills or a just the funny, little things that make us go hmmm, here are a six things only gay men know:
- Celebrity Secrets – Most gay men I’m acquainted with legitimately know an entertainer or professional athlete in the NFL or NBA who are in the closet. We’ve either dated them, or they have dated or been involved with one of our buddies. If we have a platform, we are the kings of being discreet. We would never out them even if they’ve done us wrong. We will also vilify those in our community trying to cash in by doing so.
- Vacation Is Life – Brothers of a same gender loving persuasion have enough of life’s punches to deal with. We, like so many others who’ve come before us, know that escaping a harsh reality is paramount to our overall wellbeing. Even if it’s just creating a safe space at a house party with close knit friends for the weekend.
- We Have Super Powers – You’ve read that correctly. We have the ability to assess a room within seconds to determine if it’s a safe environment or not. We also have the ability to create something from nothing within a few hours. Have a invitation to a theme party while vacation? No worries- we will Macguyver the heck out of the items in our suitcase in addition to things in the hotel room. We have mastered the are of getting out of jams almost miraculously.
- Time For Ourselves – Self care is necessary for every man who is automatically judged based on whom he loves. We take several moments a week or even within a day to recharge, recalibrate, then continue to dominate whatever has our focus.
- Our Depiction On Screen Is Almost Always Inaccurate – Our Community albeit small, produces a vast amount of individuality and nuances. We are such a multifaceted group but only a small minority seem to make it on screen and are deemed as the image of how some heterosexuals define us. We’re making progress but we all know a police officer, construction foreman, and athletic coach, whose stories aren’t believable based on others limited ability to see us outside of a stereotype.
- We Can Get A Date Anytime and Any place – There are events such as Drtakeover in which we can get together and enjoy good times with likeminded people. We all know however, that we don’t need a gay bar, event, or house party to have someone give us “the eye”, openly flirt with us, or get a date. Whether you’re at your straight buddies bachelor party at a strip club, neighborhood cookout, or at the Giants game, we can always spot “fam” and get attention from the most unlikely of men. Where some straight guys have to work so hard, we simply have to keep our eyes open or wear a tank top at Whole Foods.
This list can go even further as there are so many things we are aware of that’s inconspicuous to others. It’s not mainstream knowledge and we enjoy sometimes keeping it between ourselves. We are often forced to live outside the Matrix so we know the world and it’s truth is not often as it seems, or represented in the media.
We’re not more intelligent than others, but oh how we love getting a chuckle at some things our counterparts are oblivious to. Remember when Michael Sam was hailed as the first openly gay player being drafted into the NFL? Yeah that was the last time we looked at each other with a devilish grin and said, he’s just open about it. He is, and never has been the only one.