Woman crush Wednesday’s aren’t just for straight men anymore. Move over Macho Teyana Taylor admirers, there are new sherrifs in town who are competing for likes on the gram to further annoy their lady followers. They aren’t your homies, and fellow male IG’ers though. They are staunch, and covert gay men that are inching their way into the straight man’s digital territory.
In an effort to live a life under the radar, many gay and bisexual men I’ve come to know have put in tremendous amount work to ensure that their social media presence, matches their real life experience. This experience is rooted in being viewed as hardworking, free spirited, adventurous, and most importantly undeniably straight!
Let me make one thing abundantly clear. These men who each have a personal journey that is theirs and warrants privacy, are without a doubt same gender loving. They have partners, share homes with them, or are happily single and dating through a very limited pool of likeminded men.
They’re beyond the point of lying to family and friends but are chameleons who are experts at adjusting and maneuvering through life with a choreographed approach to dodging unwanted personal (nosy) questions.
While being a part of this tango of duality between appearing straight and their authentic selves, these men desire to be just one of the boys. With that in mind, supporting and praising beautiful women in a manner that implies attraction and not just being a stan of the most relevant pop diva is crucial to keeping the illusion alive.
In a culture that still values heteronormative ideals that are very much tied to all of our conditioned upbringings, it’s no surprise that for some men, they would rather support, promote, and subscribe to a heterosexual agenda at the expense of their own truth. I could go into a plethora of complex reasons as to why, but as many of my closeted friends and acquaintances have shared, it’s just easier!
It is easier for some gay men to celebrate black love when it pertains to a man and woman. It is easier to support churches and organizations rooted in historical legacies because its been taught to be appropriate, and to many, a family obligation and a false sense of duty. It is easier to, albeit sad, that many choose to subscribe to protecting the happiness and proverbial bubble of those we love and willfully deeming our needs, and romantic love interests as unworthy of attention and or having a sense of pride.
They have been masters of designing a life that is visually appeasing to, and reflective of those around us. The people some men unconsciously vow to protect often do not view our lives and happiness as worthy of celebration so it’s not uncommon for SGL men themselves, to be completely uncomfortable following, supporting, or publicly rooting for their own or their true identity.
Career, family, and acceptance are important factors for many of us . These are however, what we grew up believing to be what is normal, traditional, and warrants blind loyalty by any means necessary. I wish that Man crush Monday’s for same gender loving men were easily presented as visible posts clamoring for positions in instagram’s ever changing algorithm. I wish that these same men could be comfortable knowing that the trivial social media hashtag doesn’t have to be just for straight women.
If that day should ever come where it’s not just a few select men supporting Jussie Smollett, male IG crushes, and their truthful personal lives, I hope that we can apply the same passion given to straight folks. I hope that we could build up each other and be our own Sheriffs of a community we would be proud to openly serve.