R&B legend and gay Icon Monifah, has recently released a bold and addictive bass ridden single titled ‘One Moment.’ It’s a powerful self-love anthem for anyone who feels they just need to escape the pressures of the world. Even if its just to your bedroom.

While listening to the song, I began to think how fitting it is for so many of my brothers from another mother. You’re are the best uncle in the world, always arriving at the family function bearing gifts, and attending family weddings are your specialty. This was the case even when it wasn’t legal for us to get married. You offer free babysitting and answer those 3am calls when a friend really needs your help. If one were to Google the word loyalty, your photo would probably pop up.

It’s no secret that many men who are same gender loving are the go to support system for many people in their lives. Surprisingly enough, when your own life is turned upside down, you may feel as if you don’t always get the level of support reciprocated. Monifah has a verse in her new song that reads, “I’ve wasted all of my tissues on other people’s issues”. It got me thinking, when it comes to the lives of gay men being in turmoil, and you need a supportive presence in your life, you’ve probably looked within your own community for a shoulder to lean on.

It’s often that our straight counterparts are not only uncomfortable consoling us through breakups or other life challenges; they truly don’t know how to be there for us. The love may be there, but somehow they tend to fall short when it comes to showing up for us the way we do for them.

We cannot always expect that the way we care for the special people in our lives, is the way they’ll care for us in return. If we can have the dialogue with them to articulate that our struggles are valid and worthy of support, a bridge to mutual respect and understanding can be built.  Simply remaining quiet and suffering alone is no longer acceptable. It’s time to demand that our feelings are acknowledged and simply move on when they’re not. Don’t give so much of yourself away that you have nothing left for yourself.  It’s time for you to have One Moment for you, don’t you think?